


Happiness and FEAR.

by KingFranPetty



Category: Friday the 13th Series (Movies), Halloween Movies - All Media Types, Scream (Movies), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Affection, Attempted Murder, Awkward Boners, Bird/Human Hybrids, Birds, Boners, Cell Phones, Childishness, Complete, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Death Threats, Dom/sub Play, Dry Humping, Erections, Fear, Fear Play, Fear of Death, Finger Sucking, Groping, Horniness, Hugs, Imaginary Friends, Imagination, Inappropriate Erections, Innocence, Light Petting, Lust, M/M, Murderers, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Out of Character, Paranormal, Phone Calls & Telephones, Public Display of Affection, Serial Killers, Supernatural Elements, Swearing, Threats, Threats of Violence, Touching, Warnings May Change, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22529536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Happy Inkwell, an imaginary friend toon bird thingy, is very depressed and very terrified of the world. Then a bunch of scary slashers decide to fuck that. Literally.
Relationships: Ghostface (Scream)/Original Character(s), Jason Voorhees/Original Male Character(s), Leatherface | Bubba "Junior" Sawyer/Original Character(s), Michael Myers/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 13





	1. What's your favorite scary movie?

The lights in light the house flicked on. Popcorn started popping. A movie was turned on. Someone was walking around the house. The phone rang. Somebody picked up but they weren't person who was supposed to be inside the house. A toony voice rang happily through the other side of the cellular mobile device. You know, The Phone. "Hello!! This is Happy Inkwell, who's calling?" The other line was silent for a while before a familiar voice crackled through. "Is Shelley home?" The black, kid sized, bird hopped up with great difficulty onto the couch. He huffed, "No. Who is asking?" The Ghostface killer sat in the closet, grumbling silently to himself in frustration and disappointment, still he could kill whoever the FUCK this annoying fucko was. There is no fucking way someone would name a real person something like "Happy" or even "Inkwell." Never mind that it sounded like the name of a knock off Looney Tune. "Oh, just a friend of Shelley's. Hey, since I'm talking to you. Care to tell me what you are wearing, "Happy?"" The yellow, spiral, eyed bird looked down to himself. Dress shirt three to five sizes too big, black bow tie, floating top hat with a yellow band. 

"Normal people clothing. Under shirt, tie, top hat. You know like an actual, real, adult, human, person wears. Why'd ya ask?" Happy Inkwell chippered. This guy seems odd but fun. The killer figured, Maybe pro longing this particular game would be interesting. At least until it got boring. Ghostface chuckled, "No reason, fellow actual, real, adult, human, person. What movie are you watching?" The closet door cracked open. The smaller male fluttered his wings a bit before nervously chuckling, "How'd you know I was watching a movie?" There was a pause. The serial killer joked in a extra spooky voice, "Because the call is coming from inside the house." The microwave dinged to say the popcorn was done. The toon yelped in fright before darting under the blankets. He shaked violently as he spoke, "Haha, funny joke Mr. Man. Great idea for the horror movie! Ha ha.. Ha." The murder was just trying not to bust a gut in the background. This guy was the best victim, entertaining, easily scared, and too stupid to break any of the unspoken rules of horror. The slasher walked silently to behind the couch and asked with depraved delight, "What's your favorite scary movie?" As he peered over the couch, he watched the large pile of blankets quavering in fear. 

The other end shuddered, "Stab." Somehow the fact that this innocent idiot could live through a recreation of the first scene of Stab and not think of anything better to do than cower under the covers like a child filled his heart with pride, also a few other organs. "Ironic that considering the situation, don't you think?" Ghostface noted gleefully. Happy Inkwell looked up, he knew exactly what was happening but somehow it was still surprising to actually see it really happening. Dodo birds aren't actually stupid, they just don't have a good natural response to predators. So they will freeze up, leading to their unfair and unfortunate downfall at the hands of a humanity that lacked humanity. Happy cursed his genetic makeup as a tall form rose, a white mask and a metallic knife the only things not entirely black. Inkwell whimpered, "Please please please please, please don't hurt me." For reasons we can easily guess at, hearing that made The Ghostface Killer very, very, happy. 

The phones tumbled to the ground. The pile of covers backed into the corner further and further. The knife raised as a hand reached out and grabbed the blankets, ripping them off. Then the killer paused, What the fuck is that thing? Seriously, what the fuck is That THING?! It was a bird person... Thing? At the very least it was humanoid shaped, like cartoon animals often are. It looks so god damn unreal but it exists in reality. It was all deeply unnerving. The black bird curled into the corner of the couch, looking up at the taller human being with terror. A hand came down and pet the birdy. Happy tweeted in affection despite himself, nuzzling into the hand. The man cocked his head, whatever the fuck it was it was making him a lot harder than he'd care to admit. The hand scratched behind the ear hole, as the other hand raised up. The knife pressed against the neck. A scared gasp came from the creature, the hand moved under the beak. There was a odd soft mouth, a thumb pressed against the lips. Even though the gloves he could feel the finger enter the mouth and be sucked. The mask gave nothing, it hid feelings and faces. That's how masks work. There was only a ghosty, ghastly, face watching with black, blank, eyes. 

Those big, yellow, swirling eyes look at him in terror and confusion. The whatever the fuck this is kept taking in and licking his fingers. The serial killer took his hand away from the bird creature, petting him, getting closer. The mass murderer moved his hand from petting the imaginary being to the dress shirt, grabbing a hold of the collar. The knife moved down, finding the first button and cutting into the thread until the button popped off. The shirt opened, revealing a tiny pear shaped body. The birdie warbbled a small scared cry, shuddering as if in a blizzard. The knife moved back to the neck. The other hand grabbed the shoulder, moving the body to lay down. The hand pressed against the chest, feeling a tiny heart beating so so very fast, moving down. Happy gave a lewded bird sound as the hand started to feel below. The Ghostface killer laughed a little to himself at that reaction. It was weirdly cute. The hand rubbed between the legs, feeling something small appearing and poking into it like a dull thorn. Happy Inkwell gasped wanting as he was jacked, he wrapped his stick like arms and legs around the arm. The feathered man began to needily hump at the arm. 

Ghostface sighed and pushed the creatures back to the couch. He tsked, "No no no." Happy looked down at himself sadly. He blubbered, "Does this mean you are going to stab me? Because I let you touch me? Isn't that how it's supposed to work?" The killer joked, "Oh I'm definitely going to "stab" you now." The bird teared up at that, yellow eyes fading into blue. The man sighed loudly, "Not like that. I mean with my dick." Sunshine returned to the swirls. The slasher got on top the toon, setting the knife aside to avoid further confusion. Inkwell puffed angrily, "Put away the other knife, it's sticking out of your belt." The killer looked down, noticing that he was still hard. He scoffed, "That's not my knife, that's my cock, chickadee." The birdy puzzled at it for a second in confusion before pointing out, "This is my first time and I really don't have a good reference for how other male humans look." The murderer pondered if it was worth not killing this dumb ass for some action, choosing not to kill the whatever and joking, ""Male humans." What are you, Daffy and Marvin's secret love child?" The birdie wiggled out of his dress shirt and getting down to the floor while grumbling. 

Ghostface sat there in surprise before following Happy while yelling, "Come on! It was just a joke!! Come back to the couch and I promise I won't do it again!" Happy Inkwell crossed his arms and went to get the popcorn. 

The End.


	2. Happy Halloween!

Happy Inkwell was wandering around the strange neighborhood with his pillow cover filled with candy. Nobody even knew he was actually himself, a black bird that was same size as a small kid. They just thought it was a great costume. The night was chilly and crisp. The leaves were colorful but their colors were hard to see in the dark as the crushed under his clawed feet. The dodo, crow, raven, cuckoo... Birdie paused as he stumbled upon a house that looked abandoned, all the lights were off. He hoped up the stairs and knocked on the door. Someone had really taken the time and effort to make their house spooky this year so they MUST have the best candy. 

The yellow, swirly, eyed man waited eagerly. The door cracked open and a man in a white mask looked out. The bird chirped, "Trick or treat!" The door opened a lot wider, a hand geasured him to come in. Happy Inkwell beamed and dash inside, thinking this was some sort of maze that lead to candy and toys. Because people do that sometimes for Halloween. Happy skipped to only find himself in a ruined living room, suddenly a knife appeared. The knife pressed against his neck. A large hand roughly grabbed the side of his face and searched for something. The smaller man shook scared, the large hand began to investigate further down and under his clothes. 

"What are you doing, Mr Man?" he warbbled. The larger man didn't answer, he only kept searching. The bird nervously spoke, "Are you going to hurt me?" The hand paused, feeling deeper and deeper under the feathers then suddenly pulling away. The knife was placed into the neck, then came out clean. Happy whined, "Ow! That hurt, why'd you stab me?!" Michael blankly stared at the creature, then pick him up by the neck. He looked over the place he had stabbed the whatever this was, seemingly confused by the lack of blood. The toon gave a surprised gasp and tried to cover himself back up as the taller man lifted up the dress shirt and peered in. 

He investigated the pear shaped body and came up with only one answer. Whatever this was, it wasn't effected by the stab outside pain. To that, there could only be one response. He squeezed the bird, which only gained a squeaky toy noise... That didn't work. Happy Inkwell wiggled his was out of the large man's grip only to find his clothes hadn't. The strange bird was also unaffected by breaking bones. Myers lifted the creature to eye level. The whatever wasn't related to him in any way and it really didn't do anything to stop him, so... Michael Myers hugged the bird tightly to his chest, slinged the pillow case of candy over his shoulder and walked off. He's going to keep this now. It's his bird now. 

Inkwell hugged the large man back, he wasn't sure what that attempted murder was about but at least he wasn't being stabbed anymore. 

The End.


	3. Not food.

Today hadn't been the best day. The large man in the leather mask stomped fitfully as he dragged his chainsaw behind him, the food had gotten away. Despite all his efforts, one lady had managed to slip through his fingers. He was so close too. Leatherface stopped his walk home upon the discovery of a large black bird on the side of the road. Bubba kneeled down, this bird looked weird. It had four legs and it's head was a dull teardrop shape. Heck, two of it's legs had thumbs. Overall it had this unrealistic look like it was from a cartoon. 

Then it moved. 

While before it had been run over and broken, the creature was now cracking itself back into shape. The birdie gave a small, "Ouch." Before looking around. Upon seeing Junior, he jumped back then tried to cover himself. The Sawyer puzzled at the being, deciding this probably wasn't food and petting it. The birdy nuzzled his hand, making musical noises of pleasure. As birds are often to do. It gave the taller man a little happiness in spite of everything that had happened today. 

The cannibalistic murderer hugged the toon close to his chest and cuddled him dearly. He smiled a little as the bird hugged him back, at least one good thing came out of today. The cannibal kiss his new friend gently on the forehead as he walked back home in the dying light of the sunset. 

The End.


	4. Summer Camp.

Happy Inkwell was skipping alone in the woods. He was very lost. Still, his first name is Happy and so that is what he must be. No matter how much it hurt to convince himself to keep smiling through the pain. It was a cool summer night. He could hear a lake nearby, lapping up against the shore. Happy looked ahead to note a dirt road with an old sign. The bird fluttered his wings and dropped himself in front of the sign, it was talking about a place called Camp Crystal Lake being nearby. Inkwell shrugged and guessed that this place would have beds and buildings so he might as well sleep there. 

Later. 

Happy crawled into a dusty, dirty, bed and closed his eyes. This place was dirty but it was better than sleeping with the wolves again. He felt himself fading into unconsciousness. At least he could rest now. 

It was morning and Happy was in the corner of the abandoned cabin because he had heard something. Something large. It was coming back. He knew it was coming back. The bird shook as his eyes darted from window to window. The something was still out there. He knew it. Happy Inkwell curled into the corner. It was only a question of when. 

Jason Voorhees knew he was a good boy, his mother always told him so. Even after she had died and he had come back. Her voice was always with him, guiding him as it had when he was little. However he had been told by her long ago when he had come back from death, to find all the teenagers of Camp Crystal Lake and make them pay for his death. All of them. Still it did leave a fairly big question open that he'd never expected needed an answer. What does he do when there's a human shaped bird? He really didn't have any kind of plan for that. From the silence, he assumed mother didn't either. 

Jason peered into the cabin, the bird was still there but it was shaking like a leaf in the corner. It seemed so scared. The masked man felt for the little thing, all alone and terrified. The birdy looked at him and froze, it was so cute. With those big yellow eyes. Voorhees elected to keep the bird around, just for the company while mother was silent. 

Happy Inkwell watched as the rotting corpus made it's way to the door, the door burst open. He cursed his paralysis and continued to watch as the undead form walked closer. The body grabbed him and... Hugged him? Happy was baffled by this, the waterlogged corpus was cold but it cuddled him as if he was a precious doll long lost but now found. He reluctantly hugged back, deciding it was better than being murdered. Jason flopped the bird over his shoulder and walked up of the cabin. It had been a long, long, long, time since he had a friend. Maybe today that could change. 

The End!


End file.
